There was a time when I thought self-love was a real crock…
When I heard people talking about it, I rolled my eyes…
I guess I didn’t see the point or purpose of it, and furthermore, I probably thought that loving yourself meant that you were full of yourself…
We live in a culture that encourages productivity, achieving, pleasing, fitting in, doing as you’re told and NOT big-noting or celebrating yourself….
We live in a culture that favours DOING and RESULTS and OUTCOMES….
I’m not sure about you, but LOVE in general is not something I was taught was important?…
Or maybe I missed that lesson??
I was SO focused on results ALWAYS that I had no TIME for things that would hold me up!
Emotions, love, pondering, reflecting, appreciating, enjoying the journey!?!?
Plenty of time for that when you’re 6 foot under!!
“Right now I have things to DO and places to GO” so that I can……???
Hmmmm…. Yes….. SO I can what???
Be impressive?? Be admired?? Be adored?? Be supported?? Earn money? Be famous??
What is it that I was making life about that caused me to be so disconnected from something that today is my highest value??
And, really, WHAT DOES LOVE HAVE TO DO WITH IT!?
With successful and sustainable weight loss?
With successful and permanent lifestyle change?
With anything that is REALLY IMPORTANT in life??
Which is WHAT???
When you stop and reflect on what is really important in life you may, or may not, come to the conclusion that I have after many years of reflection, questioning, searching and struggling…..
At the end of the day, without these essential things, ENJOYING anything else in life can be quite hard or impossible…
So today, these are the things I care about.
These are the things I spend most of my time talking about.
HOW to have them. HOW to sustain them.
For many of us, health, happiness and energy don’t come easily or naturally….
At times they can even seem to be urban myths!
For myself, they are something I work on EVERY SINGLE DAY….
I have been through stages and times when they have alluded me and I have had to question almost every aspect about what I believed about them.
Whereas once I thought the equation was simple (eat well, exercise, think positive and you’ll be right!), life had a lot more to teach me….
I found myself in a situation where I was doing all the “RIGHT” things – eating wonderfully, walking everyday, going to gym regularly, doing my very best to think positive, yet I couldn’t FEEL better….
No matter what I tried, I felt DOWN….. SAD….. LOST…..
I was GAINING weight, more TIRED than ever and feeling quite helpless and hopeless about what to do….
This took me on a journey of deep inner exploration….
And it was during that time that I FINALLY LEARNED just WHAT LOVE had to do with it all!!
The science of it in a nutshell is this : as long as you DON’T like or love yourself, there is a chronic background, unrelenting STRESS that is undermining EVERY positive healthy action you are taking….
You can eat all the vegetables, all the “good things in the world…. You can exercise and follow all the experts advice on the “best fat burning” methods that exist….
You can “do all the right things”…..
AND STILL gain weight (or not lose any!), feel terrible and have ZERO energy levels, IF at the core of it all you are dealing with a constant, unrelenting critic, bully, judge & jury!
Furthermore, you may also be in a situation in which you chronically or constantly NEGLECT yourself….
This is definitely a cause and source of ongoing inner stress….
Yes… As long as that INNER TAP of stress is running, you will find it VERY difficult to reverse or rectify the physiological processes leading to your weight gain, energy drain and health woes….
Any stress, whether perceived or real, activates ADRENALINE and CORTISOL….
This, amongst MANY other things, increases our INSULIN levels…
Insulin is our FAT STORAGE hormone….
Adrenaline and cortisol foster inflammation and break down in our bodies leading to aches, pain, fatigue and immune degradation….
The more we stay in this stress response, the more we condition our brain to operate from the region in which the stress response is activated….
This is a perpetuating situation in which it becomes easier and easier to stress, and more often becomes our default mode of operation…
We are no longer thinking about things rationally or logically….
We are not producing our usual amounts of serotonin, dopamine, noradrenalin or oxytocin and we are becoming increasingly reactive, emotional, tired and negative…
This is what happens when, on top of all the other stress we encounter in our modern day lives (think 24/7 stimulation, financial pressures, wearing 5 hats, being everything to everyone and keeping up with the Jones’!), we are ALSO giving ourselves an unforgiving hard time!
The ONLY way out of this cycle, bar eliminating all other sources of stress (kind of impossible if we want to function in the world…) is to LEARN how to LOVE ourselves!
How to be KIND to ourselves!
How to be RESPECTFUL….Caring…. Nurturing….
When our INNER TAP is constantly leaking an elixir that counters, and stops at its source, the very things that are creating our health, weight and energy issues, then we are on the path to EVER-LASTING health and happiness!
And, quite frankly UNTIL that time, many of us will remain on the merry-go-round….
I truly DON’T want this for anyone…
And since I have discovered the truth of it all and just how our bodies really do operate, I am on a personal mission to spread this message wide and far….
Absolutely, without doubt, self-love is ESSENTIAL to sustainable weight loss and healthy lifestyle change!
What do you think?
Where are you at with this?
Is this a factor for you? Do you think THIS could be undermining your efforts in this realm?
I would LOVE to hear from you!
Comment below OR email me on [email protected]
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It is my greatest hope that my creations and shares DO make a positive difference in your life 🙂
All my love,
Health & Happiness Coach
Dietitian~Counsellor~Psychology of Eating Coach